Reimagining Valentine’s Day beyond romantic love
Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as a celebration of romance, filled with heart-shaped trinkets, elaborate gestures, and a flood of social media posts showcasing carefully curated moments. For some, it is a day of joy and connection; for others, it can be a stark reminder of loneliness or unfulfilled expectations. But what if we reimagined Valentine’s Day beyond romantic love? What if we used this day to embrace a biblical perspective — one that encourages loving ourselves as God loves us and serving others with Christ-like compassion?
Loving ourselves: Embracing our God-given worth
Before we can truly love others, we must first understand our worth in God’s eyes. Jesus commands us to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31), implying that self-love is not selfish but foundational to genuine relationships. Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day often focuses on external validation — whether through gifts, affirmations, or grand displays — rather than an internal recognition of our value in Christ.
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Psalm 139:14 reminds us, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” This truth challenges us to see ourselves not through the lens of societal standards but through God’s love and grace. When we embrace this identity, we free ourselves from comparison and insecurity, allowing us to give and receive love more authentically.
So, how can we practically love ourselves in a biblical way? First, we must prioritize our time with God. Just as Jesus often withdrew to pray and be refreshed (Luke 5:16), we, too, need moments of solitude with our Creator. This might look like starting the day with Scripture journaling about His goodness or simply sitting in silence and reflecting on His love. When we make space for God, we allow His voice to drown out the noise of self-doubt and worldly expectations.
Another way to love ourselves is by taking care of our physical and mental health as an act of stewardship. Rest isn’t a luxury — it’s a biblical command. In Exodus 20:8-10, God reminds us of the importance of Sabbath rest. This could mean setting boundaries in our schedules, getting proper sleep, or making time for activities that bring joy and renewal. It’s also about speaking life over ourselves, refusing to let negative self-talk take root.
I’ve learned this lesson firsthand in my marriage. Loving myself as God intended has helped me become a better husband — one who can show my wife genuine affection, care, and gratitude. When I see myself through God’s eyes, it frees me to love her not out of insecurity or expectation but out of the overflow of God’s love in my life. The more I’ve embraced this, the more I’ve realized that my ability to love her well is deeply connected to how well I love myself as God’s beloved child.
Serving others: Love in action
True love is not confined to romance; it is demonstrated in how we serve and uplift others. Jesus exemplified this through His life, constantly prioritizing the needs of others over His own. He washed His disciples' feet (John 13:12-17), healed the sick, fed the hungry, and ultimately sacrificed Himself on the cross — proving that the highest form of love is service.
Valentine’s Day offers an opportunity to shift our focus outward. Rather than measuring love by what we receive, we can ask, “How can I be a blessing today?” This could mean reaching out to someone who is struggling, volunteering in our community, or simply listening to a friend in need. Acts of service — no matter how small — create ripples of love that extend far beyond a single day. Research from the National Institutes of Health indicates that volunteering is associated with improved mental and physical health, increased life satisfaction, and a greater sense of purpose. Serving others not only blesses them but also brings joy and purpose to our own lives.
Practically, serving others in a biblical manner doesn’t have to be complicated. Start by looking at the people already in your life. Is there a family member who could use a word of encouragement? A co-worker who seems overwhelmed? A neighbor who might need help with errands? Sometimes, the most impactful act of service is just being available — offering a listening ear, sending a thoughtful text, or praying with someone who’s going through a tough time. As Galatians 6:2 reminds us, we are called to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Another way to serve is by giving generously — whether that’s with your time, resources, or talents. Maybe it’s paying for someone’s coffee, donating to a cause you believe in, or using your skills to help someone in need. If you love to cook, consider making a meal for a struggling family. If you’re gifted in teaching, mentor a younger believer. Serving is simply finding a way to love people with what God has given you. As Jesus said, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).
Beyond February 14th: A lifestyle of love
Rethinking Valentine’s Day from a biblical perspective means seeing it as more than a fleeting holiday; it is a reminder to love well every day. Whether single, married, or in any stage of life, we are all called to embody love — through self-care, service, and meaningful relationships.
Instead of focusing solely on romantic expressions, we can use this time to cultivate deeper connections, recognize our intrinsic worth in Christ, and commit to acts of kindness that reflect God’s heart. Love is not about societal expectations or grand gestures; it is about showing up for ourselves and others in ways that honor God.
This Valentine’s Day, let’s embrace a love that is rooted in faith, expressed through service, and sustained beyond a single day — a love that transforms hearts and lives in the way Christ intended.
Ryan E. Faison is the Clifton Campus Pastor of Christ Church and a pastoral leader at The Care Center of New Jersey, located in Rockaway, New Jersey. Ryan also serves as an adjunct professor at Pillar College, teaching courses on leadership and church history.
