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Calling a girl 'It' is child abuse

iStock/Devenorr
iStock/Devenorr

On August 12, 2022, a junior high school counselor in Escondido, Calif., sent an email to her fellow staff members regarding several students who had requested to be known by “trans” identities at school.[1]

The email thread reveals that seven 7th-grade students on one campus were socially transitioned at school without the knowledge of most parents. One email line from the counselor stands out starkly from the others. It is a request that staff and faculty refer to one girl using the pronoun “it.” 

The now-public communication has been heavily redacted to protect student privacy. But it is clear in the counselor’s instructions that staff and faculty are to refer to this young girl as either “he” or “it,” while hiding this from the parents. “The parents are NOT aware,” writes the counselor, “so please use (name redacted) and she/her when calling home.”[2]

Every request in the email is wrong. Girls should not be referred to as boys, or vice versa. Parents should not be kept from involvement in major life decisions for their kids. Kids should not be encouraged to keep secrets from their parents. And most certainly, no child should be thought of or referred to as “it.” “It” is dehumanizing language used in our cultural imagination to name vile monsters like Stephen King’s satanic clown or in our common vocabulary to describe inanimate things, often undeserving of care or compassion.

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The use of “it” to refer to a child could simply be taken as one more iteration of a litany of bizarre words that kids are now using to describe themselves. Christians know that there is far more to it. Rather, this fabricated, illusory language shoves our children into further confusion about the very existence of humankind. Whether it's college students being trained to choose from various sets of “non-gendered” pronouns [3] or youngsters being chastised as “despicable” for not honoring their classmate’s identity as a cat,[4] Western culture is clearly asserting an ideology that tells us there is no real distinction between sexes, between humans and other animals, or for that matter, between humans and inanimate objects. What God has made distinct, humans are seeking to merge by confusing their language.

Our culture at large has a worldview not so different from the one operating in Escondido’s public schools. Driving around town, one can easily spot cars decorated with bumper stickers that declare, “All is One.” This is a declaration of no distinctions, of a nonbinary view of existence. One definition of nonbinary is literally, “Not consisting of, indicating, or involving two.”[5]

In a nonbinary worldview, God is a part of everything, and everything is a part of God. According to this worldview, humans choose what they are, and who is to say one cannot be an animal? Or an “it?” Or perhaps even God? If all is one, all of reality is nonbinary.

But as it turns out, all is not one. Humans are existentially different in kind from their Creator. Truly, everything but God is a created thing, which means that there are two forms of existence. The distinction between God and his creation is a binary distinction. Binary is the exact opposite of nonbinary and means, “Consisting of, indicating, or involving two.” All is really two, and all of reality exists in this binary. What God creates is distinct from Him, and it is also objectively real. God determines who is a girl and who is a boy, and each one holds inestimable value as His image bearer. This image-bearing is an honor given only to humans and is the reality out of which we derive our understanding of innate human worth and dignity.

God also gave us language as a tool to help us work order in His creation as its stewards. Clear language helps us communicate truth, and truth is required for human flourishing. Despotic rulers and governments throughout history have known and exploited the power of language to label fellow image bearers as something other than human; to make them seem disposable and without worth. This is why Christians understand that calling a little girl “it” is not only inaccurate but evil.

The battle over pronouns in one small town in Southern California may seem far away and unimportant. But it is vitally important, and Christians must recognize it as such. One young child is worth fighting for, and this battle of words is over a whole nation of them. Therefore, we must be willing to stand opposed in every way to the policies that are allowing — indeed requiring — schools to promote and honor radical gender ideology and its accompanying confused language. Truthfulness and clarity in our institutions is not an issue of choice, it is an obligation.


[1] https://www.times-advocate.com/articles/lawsuit-claims-eusd-trans-policy-violates-teachers-1st-amendment-rights/

[2] https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/79/d7/54994abb48d69240f4d1807b546a/eusd-complaint-final-4-27-23.pdf, exhibits

[3] https://studentlife.uoregon.edu/pronouns

[4] https://nypost.com/2023/06/19/student-called-despicable-by-teacher-after-questioning-peer-who-identifies-as-a-cat/

[5] https://www.dictionary.com/browse/nonbinary

Mary Weller is the Project Coordinator and Public Relations Manager of truthXchange

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