Ben Fuller opens up about addiction, stardom, transparency in the CCM industry: 'I got nothing else but Jesus'
Ben Fuller isn't interested in pretending.
In an industry where polished testimonies, a lack of transparency and the pressure to live an airbrushed life can be common, the 38-year-old rising Christian/country artist wants to live — both on stage and off — with brutal honesty.
"I just said to the boys last night before the show — and I hate to call them shows because they're not shows, you know — they're 'for reals,'" Fuller told The Christian Post.
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"'This is really what God did in my life, and this is really what God is doing right now.'"
Fuller has seen it all in three short years: addiction recovery, sudden stardom, viral hits and even a duet with Carrie Underwood at the Grand Ole Opry. Now, the Vermont-born singer-songwriter is opening up in his most vulnerable and redemptive work yet, Walk Through Fire, released June 6.
The 13-track album, featuring previously released singles "Since Jesus" and the hit duet "If It Was Up to Me" with Underwood, is a raw, unfiltered look at what it means to live fully redeemed and fully human.
"I thank [my bandmates] for allowing me to be honest," Fuller said. "Because what I've realized is that walking through these fires, I couldn't have done it alone. Yes, Jesus was with me, but God also put people around me who love Him and remind me, when days get hard, that Jesus loves me."
He quoted Psalm 139: Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
"I've tried running. But there's no hiding," he said. "He found me in Vermont. He found me in addiction. And He'll find me wherever I go."
It's this fierce resistance to hiding, to curating an image of spiritual perfection that animates Fuller's second album. The artist emphasized he doesn't want to gloss over past addictions, strained relationships or ongoing struggles. Instead, he brings them into the light.
"The Bible says troubles will come," he said. "And when they do, I'm just thankful I have people around me that I can say, 'Hey man, I'm struggling today. I've been lusting today. I've been anxious. I've been doubting my life.'"
For Fuller, that kind of confession is a spiritual practice, a way to dispel the lies that can spiral in silence. "Those lies … they'll just cyclone in your head for a long time if you let them," he said. "But when the Bible says we can bring the darkness to the light, it's true."
Some of the "fires" he's experienced and openly discusses include the overdose of his best friend, years of substance abuse and a long, strained relationship with his father.
"Thank God I had to walk through fire," Fuller sings on the title track. "Because He's made me and shaped me into this man who trusts in the Lord with all of his heart."
"I've just realized that Jesus has been holding my hand through every single one of these fires in my life," he said. "Losing my best friend to heroin. Heartbreak after heartbreak. Years of addiction. A tough relationship with my father. And out the other side, here I am."
"It's been a lot," Fuller added. "But He's made me and shaped me into this man who trusts in the Lord with all of his heart, all of his mind, and all of his soul. And it's just like, well, I got nothing else but Jesus now."
As his star continues to rise, Fuller said he's committed to slowing down and following Christ closely to refrain from both spiritual and personal burnout. It's there, he acknowledged, that sin so often thrives.
"We're taking buses, planes, trains. We're trying to get everywhere fast," Fuller said. "And recently, I feel like the Lord has really been pulling the reins back on me."
In 2023, the artist played in 130 cities. This year, he's scheduled for 103, a deliberate slowdown.
"I can't be everywhere at once," he said. "And when I'm tired and worn out, I'm worthless to [God]. So I want to work with Him, not just for Him. I want His will, not mine."
What's harder, he says, is staying faithful in a system that sometimes loses sight of its own purpose. "I've met band members who've been doing this 10–15 years, and they're like, 'Man, we don't even pray before we go on stage anymore' … Whether it's wanting awards or drinking too much, it's all sin. It's all a derailment from Jesus. That's what the enemy wants."
"The world says, 'Get away from us,'" Fuller said, referencing the allegations that have rocked the CCM industry in recent weeks. "But Jesus says, 'Come to me.' So, how do we act like that in the industry?"
That spiritual deceleration has also helped Fuller recognize what he calls "holy interruptions," the moments of unexpected grace and purpose that don't happen under stage lights but in quiet corners.
"Let me not miss the blessing because I didn't want to be interrupted," he said. "I almost missed it once when I was hurrying to eat and get to the stage. But it turned out the real moment was meeting Becca, in a wheelchair backstage, who prayed for me with this look in her eyes. That was it. That was the night."
Some of Fuller's most powerful moments have happened on stage, like his recent debut at the Grand Ole Opry alongside Underwood. The two performed "If It Was Up to Me," earning a standing ovation and national attention.
"I wish I could tell you about the moment, but I blacked out," he said. "But that whole night was 2.5 years in the making. And I've come to believe, if I had made Carrie Underwood and the Grand Ole Opry my No. 1 goal, none of it would have happened. But I put Jesus first."
"My dream and my goal now is God, your will be done, not mine," Fuller said. "And so all of a sudden, He puts me with Carrie on the Grand Ole Opry. Is it an amazing stage? Yes. Does the wood have power? No. Does the Holy Spirit have power? Yes."
But Fuller's favorite moment of the night didn't happen in front of an audience; it happened backstage.
"My production manager told me he saw Carrie singing every word to 'If I Got Jesus' before she came out," he said. "And he just wept. Nobody was watching. She was worshiping God backstage. That meant the world to me."
"If I Got Jesus" has become a viral success, with over 56 million streams and more than 2 billion TikTok views. But for Fuller, the reason behind its impact is spiritual, not statistical.
"John 6:68 — 'To whom else shall we go? Only You have the words of eternal life,'" he said. "People are just finding out … drugs, alcohol, sex, fame, money, it doesn't satisfy. And when you've had it all and still feel empty, that's when you meet Jesus."
He sees that journey reflected in his fanbase: people from all walks of life are realizing, as he sings in "Since Jesus," that "ain't a thing that hasn't changed since Jesus." He shared how recently, at a show in Sidman, Pennsylvania, a girl on oxygen crawled up to the edge of the stage, and revival broke out.
"We stopped the show. No child sponsorship appeal, no lights, no script. People were getting healed. I've never seen anything like it."
"I don't know how to market that," he said. "Like, 'You should've been there last night — God showed up. Here's the link for tickets.' I'm not going to be that guy. But I'm telling you, revival is happening."
To those who may be struggling with secret sin, addiction, or pain, Fuller offered the reminder that there is a God ready and willing to help them walk in the light. It's there, he emphasized, that true freedom is found.
"Just know that you're not alone," he said. "Coming from a man who spent 14.5 years as a secret drug addict hiding in plain sight. He sees you. He knows where you are. And He's just waiting for you to call on His name. Not as a swear, but as a Savior."
Leah M. Klett is a reporter for The Christian Post. She can be reached at: leah.klett@christianpost.com
