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Josh Duggar's Infidelity Didn't Surprise Me, but This Would Shock Me

Pastor Craig Gross of XXXchurch.com
Pastor Craig Gross of XXXchurch.com | (Photo: Facebook/Craig Gross)

I'm not surprised that Jared Fogle was arrested for child pornography and pled guilty.

I'm not surprised that Josh Duggar had an Ashley Madison account. I'm also not surprised that his admission of that only came after it was exposed online, and that it included a plea for prayer for his wife and family.

I'm not surprised that a married Michigan state representative named Todd Courser had an affair with another married Michigan state representative named Cindy Gamrat. I'm not even surprised that he tried to divert attention from that affair by creating an email campaign suggesting he hired a male prostitute instead.

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I'm definitely not surprised that neither Courser nor Gamrat have resigned from their positions in the Michigan state legislature.

I've been watching this kind of news break for years, and it's stopped shocking me.

Tiger Woods having tons of mistresses? Not shocked.

Anthony Weiner sending photos of his junk out to women? Not shocked.

Ted Haggard getting caught in a drugs-and-prostitution scandal? Not shocked.

No, none of this stuff surprises me anymore. You know what does?

The person who does the right thing.

The husband and wife who are faithful to one another; who celebrate their 25th, 35th, 50th, 75th wedding anniversaries.

The leader who stays off TMZ and the Huffington Post because they live a happy, satisfied life.

The pastor who is actually exactly the person they say they are, who isn't some back-door deviant or disgusting subreddit creeper.

That stuff is surprising.

I know I'm considered a leader, and as one who speaks out against the seedier aspects of our culture, I know I'm a target for a lot of people. I don't ever want to become clickbait for Gawker because of some scandal, which is why I try my hardest to live my life out in the open. I have several layers of accountability in place to make sure that I don't wind up as some website's shocking headline.

After appearing for my second time on a major network news show, I had become friends with the host. He not only shared our message with millions of people, he personally vouched for me and our ministry. I considered him a friend and the night the program aired I called him and said thanks again. He then said something to me that I'll never forget:

"If I ever catch you with your pants down or cheating on your wife I will come to your house, cut your balls off, hang them on a tree, and light them on fire. Goodnight."

I'm pretty sure he was only partly joking.

And that's the kind of accountability we all need. We all need people in our lives who care enough about us to say things that might just scare us a bit.

What about you?

Have you taken the steps you need to take to stay off the gossip sites? Are you doing the work you need to do in your relationships to stay satisfied and to be satisfying? Are you living the kind of open, fulfilled life you should be?

Go ahead. Surprise me.

This article was originally published at XXXChurch.com.

Craig Gross is a pastor and the founder of XXXchurch.com

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